13 October 2014

Happy Thanksgiving

To the Canadians, of course. To my American readers: Happy Monday. Enjoy your day at work.

10 October 2014

On woodworking: The easiest thing I know how to make, conclusion.

 And now, the pieces. I'll quickly outline some ways to make the pieces.

First, buy some.

Not the worst idea, but, on the other hand, if you were into buying things, you wouldn't be making this chequerboard. So, onto the next suggestion.

Second, cut up a dowel

This is a simple way to make the pieces. Get a one inch diameter dowel, or an old broom handle as I did in the pictures, and start cutting off quarter or 5/16 inch slices. It is helpful if you have a cheap mitre box for this. I used my old bench hook as a stand in in the photos, but the idea is the same.

First, put a stop block the thickness of a piece plus a hair away from the right angle cut slot.

Next, put dowel up against the stop block.

Then cut.


Sand both sides to smooth. Repeat another twenty three times.  Get a dark stain or the paint from the board and colour half of them. Done.

Third: Ah, this is a bit more involved.

Background: I used to do more craft shows and bazaars than I do now. I used to make wooden toys for them, until a lawyer friend of mine told me that selling wooden toys was a good way to get sued by people whose kids were dumb enough to try and eat a truck. And no, he would not represent me pro bono if I ran into trouble, and no, I would not hand out his card to my clients.

So I stopped making toys en masse, though I still make them for my own kids. I was left with a bunch of toy parts, especially wheels. Wheels were something I made on days when I didn't have anything specific happening in the shop as something to do and as a way of getting rid of those little pieces of wood that just start taking over eventually. Every now and then I would spend a day making scrap wood into wheels, because I always needed more wheels. Until I didn't.So, when I first started making the chequerboards, I started using up the smallest of the old wheels.

So, to make the pieces you need to make some wheels. Here's how.

You need these.

Tools shown here are a drill, a 1-1/8 inch hole saw, a saw, a plane, and a nut and bolt with a couple of washers.  Not shown: some sandpaper.

Get some scrap wood (The pieces I used for this I literally pulled from the garbage pile.) Clamp it down.

Start drilling from one side. Be careful, the hole saw heats up and smokes. use a low speed, and pull the hole saw often to clear the kerf of sawdust. Do not touch the hole saw with your bare hand after it has been used. Only drill through until the tip of the drill bit breaks through the other side.

Flip over, and drill again. Line up the drill bit with the exit holes.

Out it comes.

This is why you don't drill through all the way from one side: The wheel you just cut would be stuck up inside the hole saw, rather than mostly sticking out as it is here.

The standard wood around here is 2/4 of an inch thick. This is too thick for a checker piece. So, clamp it in something that can hold it tight,

and cut it in half. Eyeball it. Accuracy isn't important yet.

Now to make them all a uniform thickness. Get a piece of wood and use the hole cutter to drill out a piece of wood a quarter of an inch thick, then attach the wood to another block of wood that you can clamp somewhere.

Put the small wheels in the hole,

and plane them down. Don't go all the way on one side. Get started on one side, then flip the piece over and plane all the way down to flush on the other side.

Now the faces are smoothish and they are of a uniform thickness, but the edges are still rough. Not a problem. Get the bolt, the washers and the nut, and line up a few wheels on them, spacing them apart with the washers.

Chuck the bolt into the drill

And spin the wheels against some sandpaper.

I actually held the drill in one hand and the sandpaper in the other when I was actually doing it. Start out with a rough grit of sandpaper, then go up to some of the finer grades. Repeat until finished.

(I didn't do the full twenty four for this.  I still had some left over wheels from earlier years)

Colour the pieces as desired.

One of the reasons why I prefer the wheel over the cut dowel method is that the dowels will need some kind of container to hold them in, but the wheels allow you to string them together with some twine or an old shoelace. I just think it looks better.

And you're done.


Assuming I've already lost the tl;dr crowd, I'll just post a last few reflections.

I hope someone out there made it this far and found this to be of some use.I think what is best about this project is that it can be used an an introduction or a way to get started with some of the basic skills of the woodworker: measuring, marking, cutting, planing to a line, smoothing. Believe it or not, that is a very large part of woodworking right there. Whether you are making a small board or a large case, the basics don't change. Whether you use power tools or hand tools, it is the same. You measure, you mark, you cut, you bring to the line. It doesn't have to be a chequerboard for you to learning these basics. Every time you pick up your tools and set to work, you are creating not only work of wood, but also the opportunity to relearn and renew your understanding of the craft.

Part of the value of a little piece like this is that it offer an introduction into the art and it can be done before the new worker get discouraged or bored. One of the harder things to learn from my experience is how keep going. Big projects, and I've done a few, have what I like to call "the long middle". Starting a project is fun and exciting, a new venture into seemingly boundless possibilities. Ending a project is also wonderful, seeing all the hard work come together as your work takes its final form. Between the two points lie the long middle, where the excitement of setting out has faded, and the end is not yet in sight. As workers and craftsmen, it seems to me we live and die in the long middle. The way through, for me, is to enjoy the process, to love the time you have in your shop with your wood and your tools.

Most of woodworking is basic stuff repeated over and over. As proof of that, I offer you this, which I've been working around and has even crept into the edges of a few photos for this post.

It's an art cupboard/play station for my son. It's almost done, and, despite being badly photographed, it doesn't look too bad. I hope to have it painted and in his room in a few weeks. The whole thing, every last bit of it, is made with the same skills as it took to make the board: measure, mark, cut, plane, smooth, finish. That's all. The size of the piece, or the fact that it has more parts is irrelevant. Each piece became what it is now the same way- the exact same way- the other piece of wood became a chequerboard.

And so I leave you. I hope the man for whom I originally wrote this actually had a chance to read this despite my verbose and prolix style. I hope someone got something worthwhile from this.  I've only outlined a few of the most very basic of basics, but with some practice, a few basics can take you quite far.

9 October 2014

Quick question...

...and I would really appreciate some responses

Short Version: The parish is going to have another advent recital this year and I, along with the main choir and the school choir (who are actually pretty good, by the way.  Their leader is a professional singer who sings with the Opera Atelier chorus.),   have been asked to participate and sing some advent music. Last year the organist also brought in a couple of professionals friends to do a song or two, so I was literally the worst thing on the list that night.  Anyone have any suggestions for good advent music for solo male voice?  Assume the obvious good stuff- O come o come Emmanuel, etc- is already taken.  I am thinking about doing a couple of the O antiphons, but I am not a terribly good chanter.  So: suggestions? Favourites? Anyone? Bueller?

8 October 2014

Recovering from stomach flu. Here and there.

Yesterday was nasty. Today a little better, though not much. Feeling weak. Writing sentence fragments. Not good.


I had been working on the last installment of the chequerboard series, but, in addition to getting violently ill fort he last few days, my camera batteries went dead. No problem, I keep spares...which someone put into the converter without telling me. Drat. So that means a trip to the store.

Normally, a trip to the store for someone who lives in Toronto is a small affair. This is, after all, an urban area built up and developed. A store is only a five or ten minute walk away.

Except in my neck of the woods. I live in the comparative middle of nothing. There is lots of stuff around me, but it is all aimed at businesses. There is a local store, but I am very shy about using that place. The family that runs that store are cons of the first order. I have bought green bread and lumpy milk from them. I do not patronize them if it is at all avoidable. The next closest store, for someone with no car, is a half hour walk each way. I'll get batteries when I'm feeling better.


Continuing on the theme of woodworking, I have been busy with stuff for the upcoming bazaar season. I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row for a good year this time around. I am loading up on small stuff for this year, as stuff under ten bucks are my best sellers. But I also carry a few more expensive items, just in case. I'm also getting a Square or something like it, so people can pay me with credit cards or interac. I've noticed people just don't carry money around any more, or, if they do, they carry a twenty, which they don't want to spend all in one place.

I've also been trying to do a little carving lately. Unfortunately, carving is very dependent upon what wood you use. I am low on my favourite carving wood- basswood so I'va been forced to use alternatives. Real hardwoods, like oak or maple, can hold detail very nicely, but they are very hard and time consuming to carve. Not worth the effort for the bazaars where people want stuff cheap. So I've tried working with pine. It's a hit and miss with pine. Sometimes it is nearly as good as basswood. Others, not so much. The stuff I've been working with this time fall into the 'not so much' class.

I'm also looking into selling stuff online, but the competition is fierce.


Yesterday was the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, formerly Our Lady of Victory, in commemoration of the victory at Lepanto. I usually post Chesterton's Lepanto in honour of the day, but was too ill to do anything about it. I also couldn't go to the Mass held at my parish in honour of the day, Extraordinary form and all. It's nice to see the high altar and pulpit used once in a while. It was also put on by the Knights of Columbus, which I am in the process of joining. Yeah, I decided to give it a shot. I'll try it for a year or two and see if I fit. I am not a very good team player.


Incidentally, I'd been corresponding off and on with the local head of the Knights, and when we finally met it turns out we've known each other casually for years. We even started out at the same parish back in Mississauga. He' been guest at my mom's house. My mom even did a picture of him and his wife as a wedding present. Small world.


Speaking of Mississauga, municipal voters there will be making the first real choice in over thirty years. Hurricane Hazel has decided to step down. Her electoral victories were so one sided that the election was often mere formality. She hadn't even bothered to campaign in years. Her reign has had its strengths (the city has no debt) and weaknesses (sprawl city, with poor mass transportation). On the whole she was very well liked and respected. Back when the various areas of Toronto were being united into the megacity, I had hoped Mississauga would be brought into Toronto as well, that way I would be able to vote for Hazel as mayor. Alas, no such luck.


Which brings me to the Toronto mayoral campaign. This election, as most, comes down to voting for the shiniest of three turds. Rob Ford, who was for a time the world's most famous/infamous mayor has dropped out of the race due to health issues and been replaced by his brother Doug. (I won't pretend that I didn't want Rob Ford gone, but this wasn't the way I wanted him out. I wouldn't wish cancer on a dog that bit me. If you can find it in your heart to do so, pray for him.) This election has held a big surprise for me. I had originally thought that the Ford's, having split the right wing vote with John Tory, were handing the election to left wing Olivia Chow. Instead, both right wingers are leading Chow in the polls. Isn't that amazing? Right wingers! In Toronto! Who knew?

To recap I don't really favour any of the candidates, but, hopefully, unless there is another big surprise in the next few weeks, this election may be the last we hear of the Fords and Chow. There are worse outcomes.


Anyone else out there wish the mayoral campaigning season was shorter? The federal and provincial governments both campaign for about five weeks. You may argue that is too short. But the ten month mayoral campaign? We're sick of these chumps long before the polls open. It's amazing they don't all lose.


I don't think I've written anything about the Synod. I wouldn't want to start now. There is a lot of worry out there over what might happen, and yes, this could be bad. But I have enough problems in my day to day life without getting worried about what *might* happen- especially something over which I have zero influence. "Sufficient unto each day are the evils contained therein" and all that. From my understanding, the bishops at the Synod are trying to figure out the way forward, and to do that they are going to listen and debate all points of view, and yes, some of them are going to be loopy. Keep your head, pray for the best possible outcome, and let the Synod run its course.

2 October 2014

On Woodworking: The easiest thing I know how to make, part 3

Wherein the board is completed. As always, basic instructions in bold, followed by elaborations in regular print.

Step 7: Put an edge around the board.

For this board, I chose a simple plain edge. I picked some thin pieces of wood, planed them to be as wide as the board is thick, mitred the corners and attached them to the board.

A word about cutting mitres: for a piece this size, don't bother measuring the size of the board and then measuring that out again on the piece you want to cut. Just cut the first mitre, then hold the piece with that mitre in its correct corner, and then mark where the second mitre will go Easy. Which leads me to a word about measuring: whenever you can, don't. Just the other day I heard a professional woodworker say: Measurement is the enemy of accuracy. It sounds almost heinous to most people who live by the "measure twice, cut once" rule, but the mere fact that you would have to measure twice just to be sure tells you that measuring is inherently an opportunity to make a mistake. Many times- not always, I admit, but still many times- you are better off just holding the piece you wish to cut so it fits into someplace up against the place where it is to be fit, marking it, then cutting.

One final word about cutting mitres: pay attention to the direction of the cut. when the two mitres are cut your piece should resemble an elongated trapezoid. If it instead looks like a parallelogram, you've blown it. And yes, we've all done this boneheaded move from time to time.

The edge can be simply glued on the sides where the grain runs straight, but will need some reinforcement on the endgrain. I used finishing nails, which I then countersunk and covered with woodfiller made of sawdust and glue.

You can dress up the edge or leave it plain. It's up to you. I put two coats of red paint and three of green. I then sanded the paint lightly along the edges and corners, so a little of the red paint and some of the bare wood shows through. It's an antiquing effect.

The board ready for the next step.  Those things around it are Christmas ornaments I am making for bazaar season.

The edge of the board is a place where you can jazz the board up a bit. Here are some variations I have made using moldings I made with some of my molding planes, or a game with wells for the captured pieces. They are all based on an eight inch square board. You can do it however you like.

Optional step: Oh yeah, this thing has two sides...

You may, if you so desire, put a second game on the underside of the board. For this one I chose to put on the oldest continuously game in history: Nine Men's Morris, which, coincidentally, is often referred to in gaming circles as "the game on the other side of the board". The layout is very simple. I used a ruler, square and paint marker.

It's just three concentric squares with a right angle line crossing from the outer to the inner square on each of four sides. In all honesty, just look at the picture and copy it. Rules for the game are available all over the web. Or put on it a game that you like.  It's up to you.

Step 8: Finish the board.

Once again, how and with what is up to you. You should put some kind of protective coat over the wood, but what kind is your decision. You can paint on a coat of urethane or varnish, or rub in some oil or wax. You can make it glossy, or semi glossy, or matte.   I sprayed on some lacquer. It was quick and simple. Whatever you do, read the instructions, follow the safety rules. If you varnish, urethane or lacquer, remember to sand very lightly between coats. Don't be worried if you find that your first coat seems to have completely vanished without a trace. It sometimes happens that the wood sucks in the first couple of coats before you start to see the finish build up. Be patient, keep trying.

My only warning is to be careful if you are using some form of brush on finish.  If you used a water based paint for the squares don't use a water based urethane or varnish for the finish.  It will tend to begin to dissolve and spread the paint around, leaving you with a mess.

And now the board is finished and ready for years of games... assuming you have the pieces. I will cover a few ways to make the playing pieces in one final bonus post coming up real soon.

29 September 2014

Poem for an autumn day

I am almost done the easy project series. For those of you who have been reading, The next installment will be up by Thursday at the latest, and hopefully earlier. In the meantime, here is the most anthologized poem in the English Language, Keats' To Autumn. Click here to see the poem in its original elegant pagination. My computer is stuck in HTML writing, and I can't repeat it here. John Keats (1795-1821)



SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.


Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep,
Drows’d with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.


Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.